then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
