Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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