best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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