In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
