Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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