I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
