i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
