My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
