Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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