summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
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I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
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I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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