you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
