Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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