Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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