No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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