i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
