Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
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