who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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