Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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