turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
