We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
