You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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