So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
