O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
