I hate all girls vehemently.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
