that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize