Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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