the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
