Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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