Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
