I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize