i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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