I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
