I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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