i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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