Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
nutella sex= disaster
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
