You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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