I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ketchup is God's man juice
Everything about him screamed your future.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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