I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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