Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
pray to the hookup gods
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize