he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
being pregnant is like rehab
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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