Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My penis needs a shock collar
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
