Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
