it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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