12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
How does one acquire holy water?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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