so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
