In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
