I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Sorry about my life...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
