I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
