Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
