Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
