Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
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Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
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There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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