Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
