I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
