Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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