we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
