So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
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Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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