just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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