fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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