Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
