i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
why is half of my head shaved?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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