small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
