we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i love accidental penises.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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