And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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