Define "chronic" masturbator.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
