my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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