Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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