Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
