I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
