"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
