I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Blood and glitter go together right?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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