You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
